10 WEEKS OUT~ WHAT DOES IT TAKE, A CHAMPION TO MAKE?

This time around, now that I've found my groove and have settled into my routine I've taken it upon myself to educate myself better in the mysteries of my functional ways. I have goals that I want to achieve and maybe I'm taking my sense of physical experimentation to another level. Not in a hectic 'let's eat all the mushrooms and look at the pretty lights' kind of way. More in a sense of what can I do to synergystically hone all aspects of my physique.....and get some God damn Abs while I'm at it.

My diet is one thing ~ but training, that is my one true love. I don't get how people can't like it. Whether I'm doing my morning cardio, hanging out in downward dog, trying not to decaptitate myself with Gyro cables, crawling around the floor at Zuu or throwing around dumbells, I can honestly say I love every moment of it. Each aspect of my training takes me to a far away place where body~mind~spirit collide. It is my sanctuary. My commune with the devine.

Starting with morning cardio. It's 4 :30am. It's dark. Lately it's been raining. It is my most favourite part of my day. My only moment of perfect peace. I get the opportunity to watch the moon sink behind the mountains and the sun gently rise to kiss the sea. I get to feel the mood of the day while the rest of you are still sleeping. I think about my precision timing for my day~ what to eat, what to drink and when to do it. I day dream about the handsome man I'm going to marry one day. I wonder if I ever get a dog, would I really call him "Rufuss" or would that only work if he was an Irish Setter? What should I have for my reward meal this Sunday? I haven't seen my hairbrush for days so I'll probably have to braid my hair again....As you can see all the important stuff gets sorted right here.

Yoga is my saviour. My light if I ever feel I'm lingering in the dark. Yoga is my opportunity to allow myself to get emotional. That might come as a bit of a surprise to some of you. Because I know I'm animated and seem very exhuberant and love to tell a story and wave my arms about passionately. That's just being entertaining. Being emotional is a luxury I rarely afford myself. Tears freak me out. I'm not saying they never happen~ I just make a concerted effort to make sure nobody else has to see them. Yoga is about realising what is true ~ completely true about you, this earthly experience, and the universe and loving all of it. Even the painful parts. Despite all the physical benefits of yoga, it is my spiritual strength that inspires me to continue to practice. We are, are we not~ spiritual beings having a physical experience?

Gyrotonics has to be my next most favourite experience in the sublime. At first it was my numero uno secret weapon in getting Abs of Maximum Definition. Now as the weeks go by and I feel myself elongating and embracing my inner balerina~ my Spondylothesis is gradually giving up it's vice~like grip on my lumbar spine. There are days when Gyro makes me want to cry with frustration. I'm never doing it right. NEVER! It is a complex series of circular motions~ often movements are moving in synchronised opposite directions. It is sometimes much more an exercise of concious muscle control than it is a physical one. Every yoga class I teach, I always find myself saying "Your body will do anything if your mind allows it". I guess because I'm super flexy it didn't occur to me that this sounds awesome in theory, not always true in practice! This becomes particularly evident when Richard (the Gyro master!) grabs me by the ribcage and proceeds to rotate, lift and lengthen my spine with a series of tugs and vicious little jabs with his index finger. The best way I can describe Gyro is that it makes you feel like you're dancing under water....out of the water. Once it's over~ it's bliss.

Now let me tell you about The Zuu. I first heard about it from a client, then from Adam. They were both pretty vague about what it actually entailed except to say that it's "different. Unlike anything you've ever done in a gym before." Now that it's my turn to describe it~ I'm having the same problem! It's all very animalistic (hence the name). All of the moves have names, the bear walk, the iguana (favourite), the crocodile (definately not my favourite), the donkey etc~ you get my drift. All of it you use your own body weight with the exception of using chains to pump the bi's n tri's. It's 45mins- to an hour and my first session, I can honestly say my mind was excreting a whistle~blowing "Faaaaaaaaaaark!" For the entire session. When I first went into the gym, I'm not going to lie~ I had a pretty bad case of nervoustummy-itis. I'd looked it up on facebook and checked out the website. I was shitting myself. On the website, Nathan the owner/creator of Zuu looks really staunch and quite intimidating. I've never made it a secret that I live by the rule that I don't want to miss out on anything for fear of trying. That doesn't mean that I don't get really nervous and shy in new situations. Most of what I do comes from a solid 5minutes of tough talk with myself in my car outside of whatever it is I'm trying next. I wish being brave got easier. Turns out I needn't have worried. Nathan greeted me with an open smile and warm handshake~ not so scarey afterall! Once there, I knew I'd found a new favourite place to be. As much as there were moments when I wished Nathan would turn his back and wrack off just for a moment so I could collapse face down on the floor for a moment ~ that bastard stuck to me like glue, guiding me through the moves and giving much appreciated encouragement when I felt like a total spaz and wanted to give up. I was delighted with myself after I'd finished (and survived). The next day I felt like I'd been beaten with 1000 sticks and I'm not entirely sure my kidneys hadn't left the renal wall during one of the seemingly never ending handstands we did. But never underestimate the power of a good old fashioned shock to the system to really get things humming. My body feels like it's finally sorted its shit out and I feel like a serious contender now for my comp. This week I realised why Zuu training resonates so well with me. The free and instinctual movements over ride any strength issues you might have. You have to just be in the moment and trust your body to support you. Don't think~ just do. I guess it's a bit like Yoga. On amphetamines.

Last but not least: my heavy, dirty, angry friend, Lady Weight. I don't know why, but I loose my sense of humour when I do weights. I just want to get down to fucking business. I still talk Adz ears off and have a giggle, but when I'm by myself it's like I turn into this little woman with all this pent up rage. "Don't touch my stuff, no I don't want to do alternate sets with you, leave those plates on~I'm only going to add more anyway,  and if you're not going to use it, don't drape yourself across it and have a ten minute conversation with your boyfriends about how many egg whites you put in your morning omlette." Get it?  I like to think I'm channelling 'the force'. I feel like I'm a furnace generating all this energy and the only way to release it is through smashing out big lifts. This picture I've included is a chick called Dana Linn Bailey. I LOVE the sentiment. It pays to train angry....

But only if you balance it with  long walks on the beach at sunrise.....and Yoga....and Gyro....and Zuu.

13 WEEKS.....UH OH~ I THINK I'M LATE FOR MY VERY IMPORTANT DATE!

Bit of a weird week ~ well fortnight really as it's almost actually 12 weeks out. I don't really know what to do. In practice~ I feel like I'm on fire! My diet has been meticulous. I have been training like a machine. I feel fan~fuckin~tastic actually. Shame my stats aren't reflecting my efforts. Bugger bugger bugger. Kylie told me one thousand times if I wanted to wreck my own head I would look at numbers. I know that the numbers at the end of the day don't win comps, the way you look does. However fragile it may be at this moment in time~ I'm going to hold onto that thought!

The truth of it is, is that last year at this point in the game I was 59kgs and 14.9% body fat. Last friday I came in at 62.2kgs and 18.4%. Freak out much!!! On the flip side however, I had lost 1.6kg from the monday to the friday~ so it's all happening. Just not at the rate it did last year. I haven't weighed in this week yet. I just think I'll loose my shit if I haven't lost anything. I am going to see Kylie next week to get her opinion, though. I'm nervous.  I've put as much into these last four weeks as I put into the entire 16 weeks last year. I will be spewing~ SPEWING if she takes one look and says to shelve it for 6 months.

Last week was a bizaar series of HI/LOWS. I'm familiar with a lot of the faces at my gym now. It's nice to be able to say 'Hi' and give a smile. As much as I love it~ training is painful. I grunt a lot. A smile and a nod go a long way in brightening my day. So I thought it was pretty nice when one of the guys said hi to me in between sets. I'm not going to lie. He and his mate shit me a bit. Talking endlessly while draped over exactly the piece of equipment I want to use....checking themselves out in the mirror....However I'm a sucker for flattery and even though I'm not a massive fan (women who love shoes and understand the importance of being able to rock out a killer pair of knee~high boots will get me on this) I know I inflict a tonne of  'calf envy' on most dudes. So it came as no surprise that he said, "Can I just say~ you have amazing calves. As a guy I'm always trying to build them, they're my thing." Thank you, I say. I'd like to say I train them, but it's freaky genetics. He says, " I love them on girls, amazing...they're my thing." Well, that's nice of you to say, I say. It could have ended there....it should have ended there. Unfortunately, he leant in and whispered intensely, "Fucking LOVE them". Cue nervous laughter and quick side step away from me ~ him obviously horrified at his verbal diahorrea, whining...."Ahhhhh~ I'm gonna stop talking now...".

Don't worry, if I was ever in danger of getting a big head, there is another guy at the gym who likes to keep it real for me. This is the guy who walked up to me when I was about a month out of comp and probably should have been on suicide watch  (how well I was coping to my ever expanding physique) looked me up and down and said, "Not in comp mode any more I see". GUTTED. Saturday he says," Here she is! Trimming down nicely. Yeah, you were getting quite overweight there for a bit." DICKFACE!!!!! Even if it's true, who says that??!

Haha~ got to love the hi/lows. Another massive Hi~ I had a mole removed from my chin. You know?! That big bloody moley~mole that has plagued me since my birth has finally left the building. Slightly miffed that this momentous event has been basically met with indifference by almost everyone I know. (What mole? From my best friend of 28 years.) The Doctor said to me I may end up with a little scar. I thought it was worth it. Once, to make someone feel better about their own angry and ugly looking new scar, I said that I quite liked them. I meant it. Our scars tell our story. They remind us of our interesting lives. To make him laugh I told him about the huge scar I have underneath my chin. That scar is so big it's got three stories to it! The first time I caught the ground with my face I was four. It was my sister's first birthday and there was about a million kids at our house for her party. We lived in a huge estate house that my parents had converted into a restaurant and bar. The second level had accomodation, and the very top level was our little apartment. I slide from the very top balastrading, planning to take it the whole way down to the ground floor. Unfortunately I fell almost as soon as I started to slide and basically fell three stories. My Pa said it was quite impressive how I managed to stick to the wall almost the whole way down. Probably saved me from cracking my skull too. The next time was almost a year later at my own fifth birthday party. My parents had given me a Wonder Woman outfit and I decided to dazzle everyone with my superhuman powers. I stood on a first floor windowsill, banged my gold cuffed (therefore magical) wrists together and bellowed," WONDER WOMAN!!!" before taking a flying leap before my guests (terrified) eyes. Needless to say the suit was hidden in the back of the cupboard and I was made to promise I would never, never attempt to fly again. The third time warms me to my bones. Whenever I think of this I am reminded that I have always been doing stupid things to try and get the attention of handsome boys. I was eight and desperate to impress my first real crush (Monkey Magic doesn't count) Zane Love. How could you not swoon for a boy called Zane Love? Swinging upside down on the monkey bars I screeched, "Hay Zane~ look at me!" In my mind I was going to execute the perfect backflip with pike landing. (I dunno~ I think the Olympics were on that year.) In reality~ with all the gracefulness of an Ox I belly~up'ed aaaaaand......caught the ground with my face.

So what's the point to my story? I guess that at various times in our lives we all land on our faces. So what? Nobody ever died from embarressment.  Is it not better to take that leap of faith and just try? Who know's? This may just be the one time the wind catches us and actually allows us to fly.  
 

ARE YOU READY? WELL HERE WE GO!

DING DING!!! ROUND 2 BEGINS!
I've actually just taken the time to read my final blog last October. Wow. The disappointment is almost palpable~ screaming at me from the screen. So why am I doing this again? In fact I did say there in black and white that I didn't think competition was for me. My personality type. But I was wrong. I know who I am. I know what motivates me. I have just spent two glorious weeks in New Zealand where it became obvious to me that I have little regard for injuring myself and secretly believe that I am physically unbreakable. God gave me this crazy strong body~ it would be almost rude not to use it. Mentally, I learnt so much from my competition. I know where my weaknesses lie. I know I'm stronger than I ever dreamed. Emotionally....that's the kicker. I'll pretty much do anything to avoid emotional pain. I am the master of breaking my own heart and coping  is actually more like...ignoring. Until I find something better, that will have to do! Because more than anything, I want to do this again. I want to achieve different things this time. I want to do it for my own sense of last year not being just a one hit wonder. Do swimmers or runners give up just because they didn't win their first race? I think not!
I'm two weeks into my next comp prep and can I just say, I'm feelin' pretty damn fine. Yuh~ decisions have been made and lines have been drawn. Just like last time my goal is world domination.....yes, it's a work in progress~ this time let's see if we can't make it happen. Worst case scenario~ I get another $5 trophy. (This time it should be noted I am going with a federation that gives everyone a trophy~ rather cunning on my part, no?)

A little bit more on the serious side, just in case anyone who actually wants to compete bothers to read this, I'd like to talk about what it was like post~comp. Because nobody tells you how hard that part is. You spend four months focused on your goal and creating this perfect as possible body, then over night~ it's gone. I did read some article in Oxygen magazine that advised that you may feel depressed or a bit lost without something to put your focus on post~comp and I did take all that on board. I chose to move my business the week before my comp so I would be forced to throw myself into work once I'd finished. No biggie.

Ah problem~ huge biggie. I didn't realise how much loosing my rig would affect me. I actively avoided looking in mirrors. I was almost frightened by my thoughts of self loathing. I felt like Iwas loosing my mind and gaining an eating disorder. How is it that I eat fruit and regain my "unit" status overnight, and my friends remain petite and gorgeous while smashing the beers and 2am kebabs? Oh the inhumanity!! I carb cycled my way out but felt like I had instant back fat and jelly belly. It wasn't instant but it is definately there and even now that I've stopped crucifying myself at every turn, I'm hugely disappointed that it made a come back. After all the bitching that my boobs were the size of fried eggs, they too came back with avengence and I was horrified that with the developement of my pecs~ none of my clothes fit the way they used to. And my bloody boobs are doing their best to squash the life out my lungs. Where before I revelled in my lightness of being, now I feel the weight of my centre of gravity.

 Even though I kept training during my off season, I felt so nervous coming into the gym on my Day 1! I felt like all eyes were on me and whisperer's were whispering "Oh my God~ she's let herself go!"  Silly Kia~ I don't really believe that anyone paid the slightest bit of attention to me, but my blush was still there all the same.

So what am I hoping to achieve this time? Well...AB's might be a great place to start! Last year I had insane obliques and this weird looking flat plate where my 6 pack should have been. Also~ let's get a bit of lift to that junk in my trunk and lean down these cyclists thighs, shall we? If I can get these 3 things in order, I'll be so stoked. I've decided to get my beautiful original suit fixed so that I can wear it this time. Fingers crossed that will be possible. I'm kinda hoping I pull up even leaner this time.

I'm competing in INBA this year and I'm pretty excited about it. The federation is part of the Drug testing  Federation and I've seen on the site that athletes who produce positive tests get named and shamed~ and banned anywhere from 3years to life . It's shit scarey~ there are a lot of things on the official list and you have to be really careful with your supplimentation choices~ just because you can get something over the counter doesn't mean it's legal for natural competitors. I like the integrity in that. AND I get a trophy just for turning up! I'm actually off to get blood tests done tomorrow. Not that I feel like anything is wrong and last year I didn't take anything to create a problem, but hormones are crazy things and before I get in too deep this time, I'd like to make sure that my thyroid, iron and sugar levels are all A~OK.

It's amazing how this time around I feel so much more calmer about things! Sooooo organised! I get up at 4:30am every morning~ last year I felt so harrassed by my life. Who likes to feel like they are running late at 6am? I felt I was forever chasing my own tail. I realise now that this lifestyle suits me. I love to eat. I'm actually not that fussy about what it is I eat~ as long as I get to do it regularly! I plan all of my clients so it works with my 3hourly feeds. I remind myself when I'm bored of greens and protein that I'm not starving. I'm getting everything I need to function. The children in Africa are starving.

 We now have two fridges. Luke's fridge....and Kia's/ Luke's beer fridge. I am a vision of portional organisation. The tupperware food towers on the shelves make me happy. It also makes me happy not to have to look at all the food I can't eat in "Luke's" fridge! I literally started dieting the day I got from New Zealand. Do you remember how depressed I felt in the first few weeks last year? As I came off my carb high I could feel my body having to adjust to it's new energy source.  I actually felt the day when I stopped running on reserves and started utilising the food I was putting in. Almost like the flick of a switch. Facinating, no? The body is a freaking amazing thing! No depression this time, but that first week there were plenty of pursed lips and slitty eyed glances where before there would have been cheeky grins and snorts of laughter. Happily we are back to giggleville, peppered with unsympathised moments of groaning as I shuffle from the couch to my bed....it's going to be a long four months!

Fourteen weeks to go and counting. I might not be freaking out at every turn like I was last time, but I'm hoping this ride is just as wild as the last! I think I'm still lucky to have so many people cheering me on, interested in my progress. One of my most favourite clients and serious mentors said to me just before I started this again~ as I was weighing up the pro's and con's, "Everyone always thinks the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener, Kia, where you choose to water it."