Pre Competion Preparation

Well. Here we are at the moment I never thought to entertain. I started training at HPC Gold Coast with Adam Green in January this year. In our first session he asked if I would ever think about competing in a body sculpting competion. He was met with a straight up, "Hell no!". My sister had competed in 2008 and I remembered the tears, the mood swings, the hunger.....oh the HUNGER. Next to training and singing at the top of my lungs in the comfort of my car, eating is pretty much my favourite thing to do. So why would I embark on a four month campaign of depravity? Why indeed?
After two months of training with Adam I was noticing some pretty cool changes in my physique. Others started noticing as well. And so the seeds were planted. I work in an incredibly athletic field and am surrounded by a host of talented and inspiring athletes. I live in a world of massage, yoga and dencor rub. Personally I love pushing the physical boundaries.I have done some crazy shit in my time. I cycled from St Petersburg to Moscow. Horsebacked through Costa Rica. I lived on a farm in Italy that you had to hike for two hours up a mountain to get to and didn't want to come back down. I've done the Gold Coast half marathon (badly!!) and an adventure race through the hills behind Gosford. I bloody massaged for 12hrs straight after the floods!!
I was being asked constantly why I wasn't competing and so I started to think...and think....and think. I rely on my strength to get me through my work day. Would I be able to do this and still support myself? My body is strong~ but my mind? Did I have the disciplin to see it through? At the end of the day, I thought, 'Screw it. THIS is what Kia did next." What is life without challenges to rise to? 
So before I could chicken out I told everybody. And I mean EVERYBODY that I was going to do it. If I couldn't trust my self control~ sheer fear of the humilation of failure would be motivation enough.
And now here I am. Three weeks in and 2.5kgs and 2% body fat lighter. Let me share some of the highlights thus far......
Just incase you were wondering, getting thinner doesn't automatically make everything better. I used to be obese as a teenager. That isn't me being dramatic. I am 160cm tall and I was 84kgs. Loosing weight doesn't mean you suddenly have this amazing new image of yourself. Half the time I look in the mirror and still see teenage me. Maybe if we took the time to see ourselves as our friends and loved ones do~ the world would be a much less angst filled place. So it's still a struggle to simply say thank you when someone compliments the changes I'm making. 
This next bit is very important. VERY. IMPORTANT. Do NOT ever, EVER go and get a new tattoo when you've literally just lost all the fat off your back. Jesus wept~ I've never known pain like it. And before anyone leaves a smartarse comment that tattoo's are supposed to hurt, I know...I already have five. The icing on the cake was when the guy doing it asked if I had had an operation. Confused me," No. Why?" Him "Your skin is all loose and stretchy". Cue a flood of tears from moi, and one seriously uncomfortable Maori. 
Next, the high protein diet can initiate some unusual bodily responses. After the first two weeks I pulled back my sleeve and waved my arm under my brothers' nose. "Does this smell like meat to you? Do I smell like MEAT?"  A quick trip to the healthfood store later, supergreens tucked under my arm, I was ready to re~alkyline my body. P.S. it should be dually noted that supergreens (no matter how much Acai is added) taste like total arse.
Lastly, this is the reason why I am sat here in front of my computer. Nobody tells you how isolating training like this can be. I have spent the last 10 years searching for ways to out run, out smart, out play my depression. Training was the one area of my life I knew I would always win. HarderFasterBetterStronger~ that is my motto. I don't know why, but these last couple of weeks have been very dark for me. Suddenly I've found myself in this bizaar world of strength & beauty pagentry. What was I thinking? At the end of the day it doesn't matter how hard you train~ it's how you LOOK on stage. Shit. Physical fatigue is one thing. You suck it up and march on through. Mental fatigue can be cured by rubbing your eyes and getting some serious shut eye. But emotional fatigue sucks your very will to live. It makes you cry when you simply detest crying. It makes you not answer the phone. It creates apathy which is so much worse than being hyperemotional. It makes you loose the sleep that you need to heal. It makes 100 little voices make you question your very motives for wanting to achieve your goal.

I guess this is my IN YOUR FACE to those little voices. Primarily it is for me to be able to chart how I'm going week by week. Maybe someone will read it and laugh and cry along the way with me too.