6 Weeks Out~ Pass me a cup of concrete, please.

Holy crap~ feels like only yesterday I was writing "7 weeks out"!. Time flies when you're starving and delerious. Last wednesday saw the beginning of my NO CARB days. Give me strength, if by the end of the day someone had of said,"Kia, come out the back here, I've organised for someone to shoot you.", I would have gladly accepted. Seriously. I cannot believe how much difference 1/3 cup of oats can make to my day. In my defence I had a massive 48hrs before I'd even begun. I have a joke now that when it comes to working for the footy teams, I am the unit magnet. Tuesday night I had a job with the All Blacks and while I was stoked (yet totally professional, of course. I didn't gaze lovingly at him once.) to work on Sonny Bill, before the last 45min session was about to start I took the opportunity to dash to the loo. I came skipping back into the room to see what I can only describe as a man mountain wriggling out of his shorts. I stopped dead as he swung around to look at me. Brad Thorne. We took eachother in~ me peering up into the wild blue yonder, him bending over and still squinting to see my face. He shook his head, "I'm so sorry." I sighed and put my hands on my hips,"Didn't you get the memo?"...."?"...."Forwards are supposed to come at the start of the evening~ not last!" Lucky for me he is probably one of the nicest guys you ever want to meet. Still, I didn't even get home until 11 and had to be up at my usual 5am the next morning. High intensity cardio with no carbs actually felt pretty good. I don't really like to exercise with any food in my belly which all of my trainers have been horrified by. So I didn't really think it would be a big deal. Until I got to 3pm and felt like someone had flicked the 'powering down' switch and I still had 4hrs of massage to do. I dragged myself in my door at 8pm. Skulled a protein shake at 8:03pm. By 8:11 I was tucked in bed mouth wide open, eyes glued shut and punching out some serious Zzzz's. I noticed last week I kept waking up with pins and needles where I obviously been sleeping so heavily I hadn't moved for hours!
Then I got up on thursday and wondered what all the fuss was about. I must admit though, when I weighed myself on friday I had lost 1.2kg, so I guess the suffering is worth it....still think it was all in my head though because I've just done two no~carb days in a row and have pulled up fine.
There has been a few changes. I've called it a day on my own yoga business and now only work at My Health Yoga on thursdays. The offload of pressure has far outweighed any sense of failure I might have been harbouring. Yoga is always going to be there. I don't mind waiting just 6 more weeks to be able to focus on it properly. I'm enjoying teaching only two classes so much more, too. As far as what it means to my training, I can now dedicate my mornings to doing my own stuff and really get the most out of it without rushing. So I'm glad I made the decision.
In the gym I've started to not wear my headphones so much. For a couple of reasons. First, people talk to you more if you don't have your iPod blaring. Sometimes it great to have the aversion if you want to get in, do your shit and leave. But now I can relax a bit, I'm finding I'd like to converse with my fellow gym junkies. Some of them, anyway. After bitching about equipment hogs I noticed as I was on the cable fly a dude hovering to the side. I said I only had one more set and he shyly asked if we could share. I felt like the new kid at kindy! Sure! Finally~ someone wants to play with me! HAHA!
The second reason is my Implanon is getting really uncomfortable in my arm, and that's the side I wear my iPod on. With all the fat gone from my bicep area, the rod is starting to press into the muscle which is annoying. I'd get it removed but buggered if I'm going to do anything that's going to affect my hormones at this stage in my preparation.
I did such a massive leg session with Adam last week. I thought I was going to feel my sit bones break through my butt cheeks evey time I wanted to sit down. I love that pain, though....the kind that makes you question how bad you need to sit down to pee. One of my friends loves to say to me,"Kia, pain is weakness leaving the body". Heh~ I love that saying too now.
I'm finding I'm starting to plan my lifestyle beyond comp. How would I like to eat and train differently. I think straight after I'm done I'm going to do a serious detox. Although I'm doing this all as organically as I can, this much protein and supplimentation can't be good for you in the long run. Then I think I'll adopt a whole and raw food approach. I'd like to say I'll go totally vegan like my sissi, because I just love the food. But I think it might also be nice not to have any restrictions for a while. Ease my way into it, like. As for training, I've got rugby on my mind. After doing something so insular for so long, it would be mad to have the team atmosphere. I loved playing when I was in England. I totally sucked at it, but I don't care! I'm just as fast as I ever was and that's what counts when you're the one with the ball! This week I finally get to up the anti on my cardio and incorporate two sprint/ stair sessions. My thighs, bless them, whilst being massively muscley.....are still MASSIVE. Hooray for all that long distance cycling I used to do! Tomorrow I start with the Miami stairs....those of you from these parts know what I'm talkin' about. The hill of death. Not sure just how enthusiastic I'll be by this time tomorrow night about this change in my programme!

7 WEEKS OUT~ THE PRETTIEST OF THE MERMAIDS

I picked up my costume last tuesday, and what can I say......I'm in LOVE! If this competition is about who gets the be the prettiest of the Mermaids~ I will win~ NO DOUBT. Of course my arse will have to halve in size to fit it.....and I don't even want to talk about the front bum. On wednesday we had a family dinner that I proudly showed it off at, and my Uncle Bilby pipes up over all the cooing and ahhing, "Well, I hope it's not out of turn of me to say that I hope you've had a brazillian?" Oh my fucking God! HAHAHAHAHA! I didn't even know he knew what that was. After we'd all picked up our jaws and stopped pissing ourselves laughing, I assured him that as much as it goes against every fibre of my being to have my hair ripped out en masse via hot wax, yes~ I did indeed have the nether region under control.
And so the visionary begins. I'm sure everyone at the gym thinks I'm just that chick who really digs her own music because I spend a lot of time double fist pumping when I'm on the stationary bike, but really that's me practicing my acceptance speech for when I win.....yussssss!
Last week marked the start of fat burners. Lipolyze....where HAVE you been all my life. It's not essentially that I think it's been a great fat burner, more a saviour of my mind. It is an AWESOME appetite suppressant. I realise that doesn't seem to be a normal thing to say~ but what I'm doing is not normal. I have to eat every three hours and sometimes my work schedual doesn't factor to that. My metabolism is so well trained now that I feel a minute beyond the magic three hours induces gut wrenching nausea. Last week it felt so good to be able to reach that mark, eat and be satisfied, and get on with my day. I had a new edge of serenity, and if that's all the magic pills give me, I don't mind. The rest I can do for myself.
Last week I embarked on a mission to make my cardio more fun. Walking on the stairmaster for 45mins has moved from being a torturous challenge to murder on my knee. So with the help of Marcus Burgess (Heart Start Fitness) and my sissi, I filmed a 30min High Intensity Muay Thai session. Thank you so much for all the comments you guys made on Facebook about it~ I laughed so much at some of your comments! The support I'm getting from my friends has been phenomenal and I'd really like you all to know how much it can make a difference to my day. Man I miss hitting the pads! I'm gutted it hurts my hands so much for days after~ it just makes working too uncomfortable unfortunately.
In posing this week I finally perfected my 'relaxed' pose. It's pretty amazing watching how from week to week there are tiny little changes that mean I have to tilt my bum here now, drop an elbow there. I felt a total lightness of being this week. I've suddenly become more aware of the space around my body. Sometimes I feel like I could float away on the breeze, evaporate into the ether.... Of course that never happens when I'm driving. I've been told I morph into a different (slightly more angry) creature when I'm behind the wheel and it seems to be getting worse. Lucky I'm alone in my car most of the time because I don't think even the hardest sailor would like to hear what I have to say to most of my co~drivers. I've found playing the dulcet tones of Renee Geyer and Missy Higgins really helps tame the urge to grab a tyre iron and beat the living shit out of other peoples' bonnets at the lights. Other than that, I am a vision of tranquility.
I also started incorporating 100reps of back extensions to each workout to help taper in my lower back. Can I just say (the previous paragraph not withstanding), it takes a lot to get my back up but if those hackles rise......My gym is home to so many different walks of life and I'm not gonna lie~ there are quite a few knuckle draggers amoungst them. I don't know who said it (but someone did) "Manners don't cost". Do you think I want to be on the hyperextender burning the small of my back? Dudes who hog equipement for their ridiculous super sets do not get the right to squat down in front of my face and rudely demand to know how long I'm going to be. Especially on a low carb day. Especially on rep # 39. I might be 5'2", but if you get in my face~ you better be prepared to go the distance. That is all.
I had a hugely busy week at work which I love, love, love. The universe really does provide~ all you have to do is ask, be present, be thankful. I love that I can be at the end of my day, every muscle, tendon and ligament on fire; feeling like I can't even shape my words let alone bat an eyelash and have my last client just be....amazing. From somewhere you reach inside and find this source that you can draw up from your very roots and radiate out. My job is such a beautiful transferance of energy. I know the source isn't me. It's my clients'.  If I didn't have this job, this beautiful life with these beautiful people surrounding me~ I probably would have given up long ago. So saturday rolled around and I was spent. But happy. I don't really get people who are always chasing the quick buck. What's wrong with working for what you've got?
So I felt absolute pleasure spending sunday in retail bliss! My mission? To find a pair of jeans that fit my arse and my thighs at the same time. The difference a week makes! Last week I was moaning to my flatmate about my inability to do that because I must have been between sizes. She said to just go and get a pair of 'jeggings' (leggings that look like jeans). I gasped in horror. Do I look like I just stepped off the last train from Beenleigh? After slating the shit out of 'pajama jeans' on Facebook, I could not possibly invest in the unofficial uniform of our Bogan nation. So a few hours and about 50 pairs of jeans later....success! It's the simple things in life, I tell ya!
Seven.Weeks.Out. Holy Guacamole! Is that the flicker of a tiny light I see at the end of this long and winding tunnel???

8 Weeks Out~There's a hooker in New York & she wants her shoes back!

Eight weeks out.....ah mah God~ it's starting to feel a lot more real and I'm starting to get a little nervous! I was really feeling the burn of being eight weeks in as well. Quite emotionally spanked and if I'm honest, I felt like my brain was fried. Wednesday was a true hump day. On the tuesday I had a friend from my gym come in for a massage who said I looked like I'd really leaned up in the last week. I nodded and made the right noises, but in my mind I was think she was just being nice to me. Wednesday I went in for posing practice and all I could see was every little roll waving at me in the mirror. Kylie assured me I'm ahead of schedual, but again, in my mind I questioned how she could think so. I honestly felt like both girls were lying to me and getting up on stage was going to be the worst, most humiliating thing I could ever do. Once a tank~ always a tank. I went around to my Da's and said, "I just don't feel right. I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it!". Suddenly eight weeks didn't seem like long enough. But then thursday came and the world was a different place and I was ok again. I just don't understand why my life isn't one long, glorious skinny day right now....? Can I just say though, the negative things I write aren't the be all and end all. I am also having a tonne of fun and this four months is going to shape the rest of my life the nothing else has. I just want to make sure that I don't paint a through rose coloured glasses picture because in all honesty~ I'm on a total rollercoaster ride at the moment. But I'm ok in myself, because I'm aware of all these things and am getting through them one bit of crazy at a time.
On the up side, I did go and get my shoes on tuesday night. I dragged Tiff along with me and our first port of call was the XXX shop on the highway at Mermaid. My mum reakons I could make friends with a lampshade if I'm left alone with it for long enough, so it should come as no suprise that on walking into the store I laid a beaming smile on the first dude I saw and asked to be directed to the shoes.....of course he didn't work there and was clearly distressed that I had made eye contact with him, let alone engaged in conversation. Woops (We also saw him at the Den so immediately labelled him creepy!) . Can I just say~ Myers shoe department~ please send your employees to sex shops to educate them in the finer points of customer service~ they shit all over the service standard you provide. XXX didn't have any shoes, but she was very attentative and even gave us a stash of free batteries ( and everyone knows you can never have too many spare batteries, right?). Having our pockets full and myself with a nozzle full of lube  (I was a bit over zealous in my sniff test of the strawberry variety), we headed up to the Den at Broady where once again we were met with a vision of exemplary customer service. Hallelujah~ they had my shoes. Stunning 6" platform perspex and silver! As I strutted around the shop with my yoga pants rolled up and my 'I love New York' hoodie, I felt every inch tha strippa~ gangsta styles!
Actually last week was MASSIVELY EXPENSIVE!!!! A RUNNING TALLY WOULD INCLUDE:

• Bikini: $320
• Stripper heels: $100
• New trainers: $120
• Supps: $300 (gotta love running out of everything at once!)
• Fat burners: $80 (yep~ it's time....)

I started with the fat burners today because I've plateaued over the last 2 weeks and remain on 13% body fat.
Thank heavens I worked 7 days last week! Seriously~ doesn't anyone want to sponno me? I promise I'll win and thank you in my acceptance speech!...No? Sigh. Back to selling unnecessary organs then.
I actually had a rad end to my week. The whole weekend spent with the Melbourne Storm. Knowing the furor I created when I said I'd step over my own mother to get to Carl Stefanovic (I still think he's totally hot), I'm reluctant to put it out there....but ladies~ two words: Bryan Norrie. SWOON! I'd even move to Melbourne and suffer it's ridiculous weather for that one. And the moment finally came when I got to use a line I've been cooking up for ages. One of the teams managers has waved me over in the shed before the game, " Kia, Kia~ I'm sorry but I've got to ask you. What do you do?" . Me, "Pardon? I'm a massage therapist." Der. "No, I mean.....this!" Waving hands in the general direction of my body. "Oh! You know what, yesterday I just woke up and DAMN! I looked like this!!!" Kakakakakakakaka! Gotta love a bit of muscle envy from a dude. I thought I was piss funny, anyway.
Today I enlisted the help of my sister and my friend Marcus, from Heart Start Fitness to spice up my training a little bit. I did just a half hour Muay Thai session with Marcus and my sis was patient enough to film it for me. Sooooo much fun. God I miss hitting the pads! I am black and blue but with a huge smile on my face. Life is good, peeps. I said right from the start that I would stop if I felt like this wasn't what I wanted. But it is. I might complain sometimes. I might have mini (or EPIC) meltdowns over ridiculous things. I might trail off and loose my train of thought mid sentence......
But I'm still me. Still working hard and trying to live my life with purpose and meaning. And if anyone needs any batteries.....HOLLAR!!!!

9 WEEKS OUT~ IT'S BEEN......EMOTIONAL.

Have you ever experienced that awkward moment when you realise you are the subject of the "Hot or Not" debate? It's a bit shit really. As I walked into the change rooms last week I overheard three girls talking, "Her veins are gross, man. Popping out all over the place!". "Yeah, but her arms and back look amazing...". Voices trail and eyes slide to the floor as I walk to the lockers. That's when I realise they're talking about me. Wow. My face starts to burn and I realise both statements are true. Over the last couple of weeks I've really started to cut in on my upper body. Everything ripples. I can see the muscle striation across my chest and deltoids. And yeah~ my back looks amazing. Buuuuut~ I have veins everywhere~ even across my belly. It's kinda gross and kinda cool at the same time. I'm very aware I'm loosing my Princess factor. Bra's with underwire have become a distant memory. In fact I reakon pretty soon I'll just whack a couple of bandaids over the nips and be done with it. Hmmmph. That local tit guy is looking better and better...freaky kneecap eyebrows and all. Or I could just suck it up and realise that when I started out with this journey, it had an element of the experiemental to it. I was curious, more than anything to see what transformations could be made. The extraordinary adaptability of the human body. So~ sticks and stones, Bitches. As one of the footy lads told me when I relayed the story, "Kia, Haters gonna hate". Cliche but true.
Not much really changed last week training wise. I smashed my legs so bad on monday I had to cancel sprint training on wednesday and they didn't come right until sunday....I actually think I may have a little tear cause they were incredibly tight right from the very first leg press today. Combined with a massive back sesh and Adams' "ABS OF DEATH" I had my first week long full body ache. Lots of work and a lot more posing practice, I guess it's to be expected. Posing is getting better as I practice more. Tomorrow night to cheer myself up I'm going to go get my shoes to wear on stage. A pair of hot perspex 6"heels that are going to give the illusion that I'm walking on air as I strut my stuff and strike my poses. Bizaarly such fashion wonders are also favoured by strippers and sex workers so if you see me hovering around The Den tomorrow I swear  I am only there for the footwear. I probably won't even look at the Black Rabbit 2011 or spend time in the edible undie aisle just so I can check out the flavours of fruits I havn't been able to eat for the last two months. Yep. Definately just getting the shoes.
If he's looking down on me, I hope my friend Taurean is getting a giggle out of this. He probably would have come with me to assist in shoe selection if I had have had the chance to ask him. Taurean passed away last friday morning from an accidental overdose. My heart just aches that his life ended so suddenly. So shockingly. I got that call at 8am but had a day so full of work I just went into autopilot. It wasn't until the very last client was done and I was alone in my car that the tears could come. Taurean was such a lot of things to so many different people. To our circle of friends he was our, "Bub". No matter how much of a pain in the arse he could be ( he used to call me at least once a month at 3 in the morning, just to let me know he was "having the best night EVER"), like all crazy beautifuls, he was a lovable rogue and he will be sadly missed. Anyone who fails to sympathize due to the circumstances of his death all I can say is don't you dare judge someone on their weaknesses. Until you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea what tortures another has suffered.
So maybe this weeks blog can be less about me and my petty little angsts about this situation I have created for myself and my body and more about realising you get one shot. One shot to make your statement, however petite or grande is your choice. To live a life where you can be proud of your efforts and know that if it all ended tomorrow, you gave it 110%.
In loving memory of my friend, Taurean Pevreal. The boy with the ocean for his eyes and the sun for his smile. I will look for you in the moon, love always, your Miss.

 

10 WEEKS OUT~ HIGH/ LOWS?

First lets get the stats in! Pretty darn happy with the way things are going if I do say so myself. I had my BioScan last wednesday and results are: Body Fat % is down to 13.6% from 14.9%, and lean muscle mass has gone up 1kg. High fives all around. If you'd like to imagine me doing a lil' dance right now, you may. I know the hard part is coming, I'm almost just wishing it was here already. Maybe I'm just getting addicted to the pain! I've got to say, the internal dialogue is starting to get a bit full on. There are times when my work load is intense and the thought of training literally brings tears to my eyes. I lie in bed after the alarm goes off and think,"Why can't I just sleep in today?". Because I'm committed to my goal, that's why. The only thing worse than the pain of training is the pain of regret. The roll out of bed is the hardest part over and done with. After that I've never regreted taking that first step. The best part of an arduous journey is looking back and smiling at how far you've managed to come. So I've compiled a list of comp prep high/ lows......speaking from personal experience, of course. If anyone finds this caper an absolute breeze, I'd really like to meet them....and play a game of 'smell the cheese'....

•  Doing a set so punishing you have to give the equipment a little bit of a cuddle before you trust yourself to slide off it.
• Fish oil burps
• People talking to me while I'm on the stairmaster. Does anything about my face suggest I'm having a good time and am up for a chat? Now would you ever piss off, I'm almost at the top of the hill!
• Savouring every mouthfull of a cheat meal.
• Peeing like a racehorse.
• The shadow of a 6 pack and subtle lines of a V spot.
• Waking up to an alarm every morning.
• Catching the amazing break of dawn every morning.
• Looking at bananas with longing.
• Asking dudes if they're finished with their dumbells.
• Meeting a whole new bunch of inspiring and motivational people.
• Aquiring the time managment skills of a Swiss clock.
• Sundays!
• Not drinking~ this is a positive actually. I havn't missed it one bit.
• No carb crazies....it's only just begun....I might also add crying for no reason and feeling so high from endorphins, well~ I feel high!
• The last 2minutes of cardio.
• Seriously tiny stage costumes. You know, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't have put it there if he only meant for it to be ripped out with hot wax. That is all.

So the next two weeks is all about doing the little things right. Not becoming complacent and staying focused are at the top of my To Do list....are we there yet?