Last week was tough. I cried. A lot. All I could think in my mind was "Get yourself to saturday afternoon and then you can drop the bundle". Holidays...sweet sweet holidays. Everyone said to me I wouldn't know what to do with myself after 3 days. Yah well, 3 days in and my dance card is full. No rest for us wicked ones, let me tell you. There is waxing to be inflicted, nails to be attached, lashes to be extended, tan to be sprayed....oh yeah~ and 3hrs of training per day to fit in around my meal times too. I'm really very busy, darlings. Hate to think what I'm going to be like when I get married.
LET'S TALK FOOD. Last week the unthinkable happened. Remember the song and dance I made about having to go to "no carb" days? So no oats, protein shakes and going to 5meals of egg whites/ white fish and greens. Just imagine my horror at being told to....take away the greens as well. Fuck. Me. Right there, I think I realised my own dedication to my cause. I never dreamed I'd be doing this. Motivating factor? Not fitting my costume bums. I didn't realise it at the time, but they were made way too narrow through the crotch. I was devastated when Kylie said that I wasn't going to come in, in that area...really only hearing "it's never going to fit" and thinking to myself, "you havn't worked hard enough". It wrecked me. Happy days, I borrowed a gorgeous little number from Kylie today and the difference is incredible. I feel a lot more comfortable in my posing too, knowing it's going to stay put as I move around. So I may not be the prettiest of the Mermaids, but secretly, there was always a hot pink little Fairy in me, just dieing to be unleashed.
This week the diet has changed again. I braced myself for a whole week of pure protein, but only had to maintain that sunday/monday and again thursday/friday. It's amazing though how every time something gets taken away from me, I feel like I also gain. No greens meant the re~introduction of an egg yolk to my omlette. I tip in the egg whites then crack the egg whole into the middle of them. Once cooked I have the joy of eating AALLLLL around it, and saving the yolkie goodness for last. I have also started lacing my coffee with cinnamon and....wait for it~ cayenne pepper. I learnt that from my sister and I just like to imagine it's actually a mexican hot chocolate. Sometimes it works. Not really.
Training has been tough. Adam really punished me today. We swapped to doing high reps and 4 sets, circuit style training. Smashing the upper body only leaving my legs alone except for the stairmaster and static contractions of a night time. The first time I did those I think my flatmate, Sam thought I was putting myself at serious risk. I lay on the couch trying to watch the Chronicles of Narnia whilsts timing my quad contractions, not aware that to Sam I looked like I was going rigid for 30second intervals. Bless, she thought I was having seizures!
I have discovered something about myself and I'm not sure if I like it. If I spent more time practicing yoga I would discover the art of just "being". Instead, in compensation for not being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, I appear to have become quite adept at online shopping. Seriously, I had to block myself from the Victoria's Secret page and now I'm stalking the mailman waiting for my package to arrive. But like all good junkies, I have a new fix. Reading recipes. I'm not kidding. I am now The Happy Cow's biggest fan and have spent hours trawling the site reading mouthwatering vegan and raw food recipes. I'm addicted to SBS Food Safari and ABC's foreign food shows. I think Jamie Oliver is my new crush, but sorry, no~ I draw the line at watching Hughie....his style of food offends my very senses.Yes. There is something very wrong with me.
So minor little touches of crazy aside (and the constant urge to cry at inappropriate times) I feel great. I am determined to enjoy this week. Look at how far I've come! I'm proud of myself and maybe for the first time in my life, I feel no shame in saying that. It isn't about being up myself. I know the sacrifices I have made. I know how hard I had to work to get here. I know every other chick who is going to be up on that stage with me has done the same. And there you have it. The doors are swinging on this Last Chance Saloon. I want to walk through them content in the knowledge that I set myself a task, and regardless of the outcome on Sunday, I gave it 110%. The rest, my lovelies, is in the hands of the judges.
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